phywriter.com|Prone to occasional grandiloquence

I wrote this one as a proof-of-concept for a contest we were having in 2007. It took me all of ten minutes, and it shows, but I like the way the beginning and the end come back around to each other.

Incidentally, because this was available on my blog, this was my first public reading for the Relief Journal event in Chicago in August, 2009. Author Michael Snyder was up from Nashville for a reading and they opened up the floor for other people to read from their stuff. It got a good laugh, which made me feel good. Any author loves immediate positive feedback. At least this one does.

Baxter made a good meal.

He and Jill ate well on the remote space station, but he always made too much food. By now, they were the only two remaining. Kumquats,tube sirloin, and real hydro tomatoes; the guys in Houston said they didn’t eat so well. That was before their signal went dead. Now it was him, and her, and the kumquats.

No one knows where the space monkeys came from, with their luminescent fur and swirling eyes. Their saucer docked and they gained entrance without setting off the electroalarms. That was the first of many mysteries.

Jill went to investigate, but Baxter stayed behind to mind his chili.

Jill hadn’t returned by lunchtime, so Baxter went looking for her after rinsing his favorite ladle.

He turned a corner and saw a crowd of them fighting over something on the floor. They seemed glad to be able to stretch all their many limbs. They were kind of funny.

One of them saw Baxter and produced a cheesy plastic ray gun in an awkward simian paw. Its aim was not effective, pointing the weapon at Baxter’s head, but melting the “You are here” display in middle of the corridor instead.

“That was rude,” muttered Baxter. He darted forward and wrested the weapon from its hairy grasp, and stepped back.

“Take that, you damned dirty… monkey,” he said, and pulled the trigger.

Turns out, their teeth were more effective than their aim. They leapt forward and ate the gun. Startled, he turned to run.

Baxter made a good meal.