Jul 19 2008
Dr. Horrible – the alternate ending
I loved Acts I and II of the Dr. Horrible Sing-Along Blog, and if you haven’t seen them yet, see them quick, because after Sunday, you’ll have to buy them on iTunes or wait until the DVD comes out. I and II were quirky fun full of memorable tunes and great, campy lines.
The clues were all there. Billy Buddy (aka Dr. Horrible) had two competing desires. Joss took it one way, but that was unsatisfying to me because he’d spent so much time building the character of Penny and the budding relationship between Billy and Penny. They’ve breached the conversation hurdle in Act I and nearly kiss in Act II. They were all set to fall in love, and love would have filled the space that Dr. Horrible thought the Evil League of Evil was going to occupy. She was looking for something, and he was looking for something, but in the process of chasing something out of reach, they were finding something real.
And then Joss did what Joss does. He doesn’t believe love should ever be requited (although it can apparently be consummated). He has a history of killing off key characters, and at the end of this, all I can see is pure, unadulterated nihilism.
Well, balls. The clues were all there to have an alternate ending. I haven’t worked this all out yet, but it goes roughly like this:
Act III – Do the first two musical numbers.
We see DrH takes a stun raygun and covers Stun with a piece of tape with the word “Death”. (This is key.) Granted, we see him working out the formula for the death ray, but when has his stuff ever worked the way it was supposed to before?
If this was just a toy gun, how did he intend to ‘kill’ Captain Hammer with it? Maybe never intended to. This could have worked if his revelation at the end of Act II was not how to /kill/ Captain Hammer, but how to use his dim wit and his self-serving ego against himself.
And all Joss would have needed to do was leave Penny on the stage.
She’s up there and her face falls more and more as CH embarrasses himself, but that’s just the beginning. CH is nearly finished with the song. DrH freezes him. So far, the same. But Penny stays on the stage, horrified that ‘billy’ is this bad guy. And then he winks at her.
He walks up to CH and points the ‘death’ ray. The freeze ray shuts down. “That’s not a good sound…” But remember, his stuff /never/ works as expected, and furthermore, he knows this.
So he’s pointing the ‘death’ ray at CH and CH thaws. CH grabs for the gun, but DrH steps back. “Not this time. You’re cunning, but you’re thick as a brick.. I’ve already demonstrated my functioning freeze ray. Today, I also demonstrate my Death ray, kill you, and finally take my place in the Evil League of Evil. (A whinney might be imagined stage left).
CH blusters, stalling for time. And then he grabs Penny, using her as a human shield. “You wouldn’t shoot a guy with glasses, would you?” He hides his head behind Penny’s. Then he pops his head back out. “The glasses are her breasts.”
A damp policeman bursts in from the side door. “Stop, Dr. Horrible! I’ll shoot!” He wipes his hand on his pants.
Thinking quickly, Dr. H throws the ‘death ray’ up in the air.
CH pushes Penny at Dr. H.and grabs the ‘death’ ray. “ha ha ha! ” he says. “The tables are turned!”
Dr. H puts Penny behind him, shielding her. “Penny, I’m sorry it had to work out this way. I thought I wanted to change the status quo, but what I really wanted was just to get your attention. You mean more to me than anything. You’re trying to change the status quo right here. All I could think of was myself.”
Penny says. “It doesn’t have to be like this. You could help me.”
Billy says: “By capturing wild signatures?”
Penny: “Whatever it takes.”
Billy: “That sounds nice. But I promised Bad Horse a death, and I’m a man of my word. Goodbye.”
CH says “Say your last goodbye!”
They both look at him like he’s dense, or maybe a /corporate tool/.
CH pulls the trigger. The gun spits out those little sparks the toy guns make. “That’s not a good sound…”
Penny: “You’re not a hero, Captain Hammer. You’re a self-absorbed twit, you don’t know about love, and you wouldn’t save anyone if it wasn’t in your own self-interest.”
Billy says. “And cheesy. Don’t forget cheesy.”
Penny: “And for what it’s worth, it’s not a hammer, it’s a more of a spork. A tiny, bendy spork.”
The cameras are flashing with CH holding the ‘gun’ and Dr. H protecting Penny. CH sees the cameras, sees his posture, sees “Dr. H” doing the heroes’ work. He has a horrible grin on his face.
CH smiles sadly, snaps the gun in half over his knee. “Billy, you’re really not all that horrible. You know that, right?”
Billy: “I do now, thanks to you.”
CH chuckles. He looks at his wrist. “Goodness, look at my glove. It’s time for me to go.” (He leaves.)
Billy clears his throat.
The damp cop says “Oh, yeah. Stop, Dr. H – you’re not going anywhere!”
Melodramatically, Dr. H says, “I promised Bad Horse a death,” says Dr. H, “and a death is what I’ll give him!” He takes a step toward the ‘cop’ and a shot rings out. Dr. H falls to the floor clutching his chest. Red goo squishes between his white gloves.
Penny screams and runs to his side. “No!”
Four flunkies rush in and load him onto a stretcher, and rush him out, Penny at his side. When they get out into the ambulance, Penny weeps. They close the door. Inside the ambulance, Penny sobs.
The policeman takes off his policeman’s hat. “How’d I do?”
Billy sits up in the stretcher. “You have a future on the stage, Moist.” He takes off his white glove and they high-five, after which Billy wipes his hand off on his white jacket.
Penny is aghast. “Dr. Horrible?”
Billy says, “Dr. Horrible is dead,” he said, and takes off his goggles. “With you, I’m Billy. Just Billy.”
Penny says, “What was that about the Evil League of Evil?”
“Killing is neither elegant nor creative,” he says. “It’s not my style. And as it turns out, I don’t actually like horses.”
They kiss. Billy says, “Besides, that’s a much better way to make time stand still.”
Penny smiles.
Billy looks at the camera. “This is totally going on my blog,” he says.
The End
5 Responses to “Dr. Horrible – the alternate ending”
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YES!!
Thank you, Johne.
I felt exactly the same about that nihil ending. Where was the humor we saw in the first two acts? Where was the BLOG?
You have done a FAR superior job with the ending than what was filmed. Too bad you can’t get the cast to do YOUR ending and sell that with the DVD or iTune version. I won’t buy it as it is, but if your ending was included, I would.
Very nice, I like the part with “you wouldn’t hit a man with glasses” and then Hammer spelling it out.
For me, if someone was going to die, I think it should have been Billy. As you even say, nothing he’s ever attempted has worked the way he wanted, so it should have played out like that, Billy’s ultimate failure, and it comes no less when he wins the heart of the girl he loves.
Everything plays out the way it did, right up to the point where Doctor Horrible has his “death ray” pointed at the frozen Captain Hammer. “Here goes no mercy!” He sings, flinching and turning his head away; but after a beat, he lowers the gun and at looks at Hammer straighter on, dejected. “Oh, who am I kidding? I can’t kill anyone! Besides, I used a lot of duct tape on this thing, it probably would have blown up in my face….”
“Billy?” Penny says, as she raises from her hiding place in the crowd. Billy’s surprised to see she was there after all, but before he can answer, the freeze ray starts sparking and konking out.
“That…not a good sound….”
Hammer punches Billy, sending him flying. The death ray goes flying in another direction and upon landing on the ground (hard) it begins to crackle with electricity and starts making funny noises. Hammer leaps off the stage and move towards Billy, picking up the death ray and belts out his final number; but before Hammer can level the death ray on Billy, Penny steps in between them.
“Step aside Penny,” Captain Hammer says.
“No,” she says defiantly.
“Penny, this is Doctor Horrible, he’s a bad guy.”
“The only person I see if my friend Billy. Now I don’t know what he might have done in the past, but he deserves a second chance; just like everyone here.”
“I’m sorry Penny, I have no choice. The hammers of justice only know one thing……..justice.
(The death ray’s noises begin to get louder, catching Billy’s attention)
“Uh, that’s not good,” Billy says.
“Quiet you,” Hammer says, turning to Penny, “I gotta do, what I gotta do. But don’t worry, I’ll make it quick; it only takes one small tap of the hammer to get the job done.”
“Yeah, I’ve heard that before,” Penny says, unimpressed and rolling her eyes.
“No, seriously, we have to get everyone out, the death ray’s overloading!” Billy calls out.
“You’re not getting off that easily…” Hammer begins”
(Joke by Penny too easy?)
Billy throws himself at Penny, forcing her to the ground as he yells, “Get down!”
The death ray explodes and Hammer runs off crying.
As the smoke clears, Penny sits up and looks to find Billy next to her, empaled by shrapnel.
“Oh my God, Billy!” Penny cries out.
“Are you alright?” Billy asks.
“Yes, I’m fine; you saved my life. You’re my hero,” Penny replies.
“I am?” Billy asks.
“Yes.” Penny says, fighting back tears. “Hang on, I’m going to go find help.”
Penny runs into the hall way, to find Captain Hammer cowering in the corner, curled up in the fetal position.
“Captain Hammer, Billy needs you help!” Penny says.
“Billy?” Hammer says between sobs, “You mean Doctor Horrible? He’s a villain!”
“He’s hurt!” Penny says
“I don’t care!” Hammer cries out, as you opens his cell phone and dials. “Hello, mommy? I’m in pain! (pause) What do you mean ‘good’?”
Penny rushes back into the auditorium and kneels by Billy’s side. Billy’s now becoming pale and shivers as he’s fading fast; his eye site is unfocused, Penny reaches out to him, to let him know she’s there.
“I’m back Billy. H-Help…Help is on the way.” She tells him, unable to tell him the truth.
“So long as… you’re okay….” Billy says, finding it difficult to speak.
Penny lets out a sob, as she fights to hold herself together.
Billy speaks with his final breath, “Don’t…worry Penny…Captain Hammer will…save…us…..”
Penny reaches out to him and closes his eyes, she looks down, trying to compose herself; and when she looks up again, instead of tears, she is now calm, but something has changed in her; the life has drained from her eyes.
A lone guitar builds up in volume, playing the same set of chords, until Penny brakes into her own rendition of “Brand New Day”, talking about how she viewed the world turn out to be a lie – and now she sets out on to her new path as the new Doctor Horrible (putting on the red outfit, joining the league; taking over Billy’s lab, maybe with Billy floating in a large, clear container, with diodes connected to him; and she sings to him.)
Not a happy ending, but I think a more well rounded ending than what we got. Penny completes her arch with Hammer and Billy, realizing Hammer is a jerk and a tool. And with her becoming the new Doctor Horrible, it becomes a true “birth of a villain” story, everyone keeps saying it is; which doesn’t really make sense to me, seeing as how Billy as DH is already a villain….
With Billy, it’s pretty much the story of his life; he is the ultimate failure in all his major endeavors. Not only can he not manage to succeed at being a villain, but he dies a hero. He manages to win the girl, but then immediately dies – AND she then assumes his life as a super villain and seems to do a better job at it, actually managing to get into the ELoE. (I could even see a sequel where Billy’s reanimated, only for him to find that she’s managed to do what he never could)
Vintage Bass Guitar…
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