phywriter.com|Prone to occasional grandiloquence

I bought some delicious seedless red grapes and was feasting on some in the kitchen yesterday while watching football, and my son, 14, came into the kitchen. I said, “Have you ever seen the grape trick?”
He said, “What’s the grape trick?”

I said, “Watch!” and smugly took a juicy, ripe grape, set myself, cocked my head back, and tossed the grape up into the air. It rose until it stopped in mid-air, and then fell in a perfect arc right toward my open mouth.

It bounced off my lower lip and fell to the floor. It bounced twice and rolled off to the side. One of my mini-dachshunds, McKenzie, trotted into the kitchen, wandered over to the grape, sniffed it, gingerly picked it up in her front teeth, strolled over to the rug until the kitchen window, and dropped it on the carpet. She applied pressure until she punctured the grape with her teeth, decided she liked the flavor, and knocked it back. She licked her doggie lips, sat her rump on the floor, and looked up at me.

“Are you done,” I said. She wagged her tail. “Don’t get used to it,” I said. “This will be the one.” She wagged her tail again.

Some people just have no faith.

I plucked another grape, got into my stance — one left forward, knees bent, head back — and gently tossed the grape into the air. Bounced off my mustache and hit the floor.

Kenzie hit that grape like a bass hitting a deerfly.

I tried again. The grape bounced off my teeth and flew into the sink. The next one rocketed toward the ceiling, rebounded hard, and hit me in the nose.

By now, Kenzie’s brother wandered in to join the manna from heaven, and started fielding grapes. I lost them off my cheek, my jaw, my elbow. Finally, I tossed a grape in a perfect arc, popped my head back even further, and the grape plopped neatly into my mouth. “See?” I said. “Nothing to it!”

My son was leaning against the counter with his arms crossed. “I see what you mean,” he said. “Doesn’t look so hard.” He went to the sink and plucked two grapes. “I think I see how this trick works,” he said. He held one grape in each hand. “Puppies, are you watching?”

They sat in unison — they were ready.

Ean juggled the grapes and then dropped both the grapes straight to the floor. The dogs darted forward and each grabbed one and trotted back to the rug.

I looked at Ean. He smiled at me. “Ta-daa!”

Issue #46 is our most feature-packed issue yet. We have two firsts – a book review column by Matthew Winslow, and the beginning of a great new serial novel by Keanan Brand.

86 pages

The Overlords’ Lair: The Crotchety / Sales Debate

Fire on a World of Ice by Jonathon Mast
Pastoric and Deveraux are on the run from bounty hunters. Stranded in an ancient city on an icy world, can they survive?

Dark Running by Justin R. Macumber
Major Charlie Sheppard awakens a prisoner, his memories gone. His fate—and his wife’s—hangs on a truth that is as elusive as a whisper in the night.

Obedience by T.M. Hunter
She is his slave and he is her master, but she can still teach him about the dangers of greed.

Boarders Over Brantial by Jonathan J. Schlosser
When a bomb takes out his ship’s power, Tarin is forced to defend against vicious assault while his dead ship drifts toward Brantial VI.

Message to Mars by Alice M. Roelke
With Earth and Mars on the brink of war, one man a message gets through.

“RGR Reviews: Book Reviews” by Matthew Winslow
Ray Gun Revival debuts a new monthly column from noted reviewer Matthew Winslow! This month: Keeper of Dreams by Orson Scott Card, Implied Spaces by Walter Jon Williams, and Children of the Atom by Wilmar H. Shiras.

“RGR Reviews: The Balcony Fool Reviews TR2N” by Paul Christian Glenn
At long last, a sequel is announced to the classic original story of conflict in cyberspace. Paul Christian Glenn is there to give us an early look at the next generation of Tron.

Featured artist Christian Hecker, Germany

Calamity’s Child, Chapter Four: Rites of Passage, Domino, Part One by M. Keaton
Duelists, intrigue, a space firefight, and an uncooperative bounty–it’s all in a day’s work for Ivan and Red.

Thieves’ Honor: Episode One – Spider’s Web, Part One by Keanan Brand
Captain Kristoff is a smuggler hiding in plain sight, while Captain Zoltana spins a web to bring the smuggler to ‘justice.’

Deuces Wild, Season Two, Chapter Five, Rock and a Hard Place by L. S. King
The crew is caught between a rock and a hard place—the colonists desperately need supplies, and Tristan is honor-bound to bring help, but the Confed blockade is unbreakable. Or is it?

The Adventures of the Sky Pirate, Chapter 25, All the Men in Shadow by Johne Cook
Flynn is rocked by revelations while the Friar of Briar Island faces his toughest opponent–his own legend.

Memory Wipe, Chapter 23, Liun by Sean T. M. Stiennon
Takeda battles his way into Tong’s fortress, finding both hope and despair.