I am extremely sad to report that the rebooted ABC sci-fi series V is neither fresh nor bold, but is instead merely vapid and vacuous. I know, that sounds harsh, especially considering the show’s ‘MASSIVE’ ratings, but it is what it is.
Look, I knew within the first five minutes that Joss Whedon had a brilliant show when I watched Firefly, and I knew equally quickly that this show was, well, a rock. (As Halloween has just passed, I’m thinking here of Charlie Brown. When trick-or-treating, while everyone else is getting candy, Charlie Brown’s refrain is ‘I got a rock.’) The pilot episode was one clunky cliche’ after another; the divorced cop parent with the rebellious teen, the ambitious upwardly-mobile TV anchor, the Catholic priest who’s questioning pretty much everything, the buddy partner with a dark secret. Even the special effects were cliche’. The alien capital ships hovering over city centers were done better in Independence Day or even the prior V series. (Serieses?) The dialogue was predictable and cringe-worthy, and the Big Reveal was exposed what felt like twelve minutes in.
I mean, really? Steve Davidson didn’t give it more than A Passing Glance, but he spent enough time on the show to rip it a new one.
Yawn o-rama. City sized ships. Way, way advanced aliens. All your diseases cured. Mein Fuhrer, I can valk!
O sweet whatever you invoke during moments of total incredulity:
Chad: “You mean ‘universal health care’”?
Anna: “That’s what your people call it.”
Been there. Done that.
I’ll repeat here what I wrote over there:
I mean, I’m probably the demographic they’re going after, but could you be any more ham-fisted and obvious? The only surprise in the entire first episode was just how cliche’ and clunky everything was. I laughed out loud when divorced FBI mom stepped in front of her son to protect him as they stared up at the green screen.
Look, I’m all for serious discussions of, well, all these issues. But this isn’t a loving canvas painted by a master. It’s a mass produced paint-by-number set that we’ve already seen before. I’m a Theist, and even I hate preaching to the choir.
I’d rather go back and watch reruns of Firefly. Again.
That’s not to say the show is completely hopeless. Showrunner Scott Peters (4400) was replaced after four episodes by Scott Rosenbaum, a former executive producer for the quite excellent show Chuck. After these first four episodes, V will go on hiatus until March. I’ll give it another shot then to see if it’s gotten any better. At this poing, it really can’t get any worse.
If you’re in the mood for smart, more serious science fiction, give the new Stargate Universe series a try. SciFi author John Scalzi is a consultant for the series, and the questions they grapple with feel genuine, something anybody in that situation could be faced with. There’s even some geeky humor provided by a genuine geek.
